Pune University sets up its campus in Dubai

Pune University is to be the first state university to set up its campus abroad, and that place being Dubai. With 30 courses being offered in the Dubai campus it is a stupendous effort for a state university.

The campus to be functional from the coming academic year brings hope to many as they would get quality education without having to leave their country. We have had many universities having tie- ups with Indian colleges to give foreign degrees but this effort of setting up a division abroad in itself is unique and commendable.

The faculty is to be local with University faculty being flown in as and when necessary. Such efforts reinforce the effects and spread of globalization. Kudos to Pune University for a great effort.

My royal encounter

As a part of my job, I have to visit clients and discuss their company sites with them and my latest encounter was that with a king! Oh, yes I went to meet the king.

We got an appointment for the evening with ‘His Highness’. As it was supposed to be an important meeting everybody was pretty tensed, while as I was new, I was relatively cool and this was to be my first meeting so it hardly mattered.

On the way I was told about the kind of etiquettes expected from us eg: We were to address him as ‘His highness’, we might have to sit on the floor as he enjoy’s sitting comfortably on his cushions etc

When we reached his palace, the first thing that struck me was the beautiful place; the façade was Victorian with lush green gardens spread around. After some wait we were asked to go in. However upon entering it was a complete let down. An office desk at this end and lots of people fretting around, it resembled a government office. Lots of pictures some small some huge… some new and some historic all displayed randomly. We were a small gang and were ushered in from a side door. As others had been to the palace before they immediately removed their shoes… one of the few etiquettes!!…As we entered there was a beautiful oriental wooden partition, with ceramic surface carrying beautiful paintings of Japanese women.

As we entered to my relief we were shown a table with heavy ornate chairs to sit on, the king entered almost simultaneously, in his most casual wears like a trackpant and a loose t shirt…. For some reason His Highness seemed in a foul mood and the way he started refuting anything and everything around, it suddenly felt like we were jolted in the past.

I felt like a peasant, begging he king to waive my loan and pardon me, while the king refusing every request as he had a foul day [:D] However things got better after some running around and several attempts to improve his mood… and the king seemed to smile atlast liking what we started showing…. Whew! What a relief… Well at the end of the day, I just wish my ancestors had a better time with an imperial and thankful to god that monarchy is over and done with… Otherwise we would have landed in prison :P

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -4

Conclusion

Some girls might agree immediately, some after weighing the pro’s and con’s and if the agreement is mutual then there is another arrange marriage happening.

Some don’t agree, some not sure about what they want while some being absolutely sure of what they want and not ready to compromise on any factor. Then the whole process continues till they finally find a match, that could happen in just first meeting and for some it might mean following the procedure a 1000 times.

Marriage is a personal matter and it is the sole responsibility of the individual – however choosing a life partner is not only about happily ever after. It is about living, sharing, thinking, discussing and also adjusting at the same level. Having rational expectations and understanding the difficulties the other person might face while trying to fulfill those expectations. It is not only about long hours of chats and cuddly messages but also about occasional arguments and understanding. It is also about accepting & sharing responsibilities. It is also about letting the other person be as they are.

Marriage is a confluence of two distinct individuals who will be enriching each other by being together. If this is understood then the whole process can be so simplified.

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -3

First Meeting

Well the matter is settled and the girl agrees to meet the guy. ‘what the hell let’s just get over with it’ is her attitude! Parents are overjoyed, and they call the guy’s family informing this and enquiring the possible meeting time etc.

The way the girl/boy dress and talk also depends on the venue chosen.

If the guy and girl decide to meet on neutral location eg: hotel, café, or similar place the conversation is initially awkward and then if they click light. The dressing is casual.

If the boy/girl decide to meet in traditional setting with the families then other than the time when they are allowed to speak they are spared and the conversation is handled by parents and other elders! The conversation with the family is to the point and while when they are alone awkward, confused then to the point and then if they click light!

For our story lets assume they decide to meet in the traditional setting. The girl is given some elaborate instructions on the way she has to be dressed and she should talk etc. It starts giving the girl a feeling as if this meeting is not about deciding your life partner but a kinder garden child meeting his principal on the admission day.

With some more arguments, they finally settle on things and the family leaves to meet the prospective groom. After the initial pleasantries, there is an awkward silence where they are deciding who should speak, while the girl is completely confused about ‘what to speak!’ The parents of both sides are the most enthusiastic about conversation. After some more chat and ‘chai-naasta’ it is time to leave the guy and girl alone to chat….

Now what… the girl thinks – I cant ask the guy if he would make a good husband… I can’t ask him if he is equally good 24*7 or is he faking it right now… I can’t ask him if he had affairs before and if so did he sleep with them… I can’t ask him if he has undergone HIV test…then what do I ask!!! Probably something similar is running in the boys head…

After the initial silence the boy makes some small conversation and asks about interests and daily routine…Then again some silence, the girl decides to play along and asks questions on similar lines.. then again silence… by the time they are comfortable chatting with each other, its time to leave!! So much for the first meeting… The girl/boy are given only half an hour of the 3 hours that they were together!!

Once they return home the immediate question is ‘How did you find the boy… that follows with … I like the family, the boy also looks so smart and intelligent.’ Before the girl can open her mouth to comment, others start commenting and approving of the observations made by somebody… Who is going to get married to the guy- if agreed? If it is me, then why am I not considered in this whole conversation?

After some more discussion the focus shifts back to the girl and they ask ‘Did you like the guy’ Can you decide in half an hour? Science says you can then why am I so confused ponders the girl. Says she needs time to decide.

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -1

The first phase – Initial hiccups

As this is going to be one long post I have decided to break it into sub heads, the first being ‘The first phase – Initial hiccups’. For the readers benefit I shall be incorporating numeric segmentation also… Check out the first chunk

Arrange Marriage- The word itself put’s forth an image of a traditional Indian setting, boy and girl meeting to decide if they would want to spend their life together!

Not that I was any exception to the fact, however this never burdened me nor was it so complicated, or it could be that I never really understood the complexities which if was the case then was a blessing in disguise. Considering the enormous amounts of contemplation some people get into, I would have gone into bouts of depression :O

Lets start from the beginning… In a typical Indian setting a girl completes her education and is now working hard towards attaining a meaningful career. Initially subtle and then very clearly the family starts dropping hints about her getting married. There are talks about ‘how great the guy of our chachi’s acquaintance is flourishing in his business.’ Or how it is high time your father must be getting you married and retiring from his job’ Never really understood the connection of daughter’s marriage and job yet this continues for some time.

If there is no response from the girl’s end, then there are apprehensions about the daughter having an affair. The ‘mom’ asking quite straight if the girl has an affair, also if he is of some other caste/religion clears this… Needless to say the girl is shell shocked wondering how come her parents have started to come up with such innovative ideas and why can’t she think of something as radically absurd as this for her next presentation!

Once the matter is cleared and the daughter assures them that she has no ‘affairs’ happening but right now she wants to concentrate on her career, her parent’s fears are confronted. Six months go in peace and then the matter is up again. This game of life continues for some time and then during one such conversation parents seem to be getting some positive response…

By this time the daughter is sure of her career heading in the right direction and feels she is ready to move on to the next phase in life.. ‘Marriage’. The family is overjoyed and the parents get some marriage bureau forms the next day (including online portals). In the meantime other family members are summoned to make sure that not one eligible bachelor is left unchecked! The girl is overwhelmed but doesn’t say much…

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -2

Form Filling Exercise & referrals

The form filling exercise in itself is a major task! It has a column to specify your expectations about your bride/groom to be… what do you write in that-

The physical qualities or the mental abilities? Who decides the compatibility if 5 out of 10 qualities are matching? There are columns where you have to describe the kind of food you like Home made/ dining out- again how many times would you be interested in dining out in a week – 1-3-5-7, the kind of humor you enjoy – is it political/dark/cheesy god knows what else… I never really found out under which category do jokes that make me laugh fall under!
By the time the form filling exercise is complete she realizes-
She has no clue of the kind of husband she wants
Worse still she never understood the kind of person she is!

Well such self realization would certainly scare anybody… isn’t it?

The completed forms are sent out first thing in the morning. By then the relatives have started calling in, informing about some proposal concerning a neighbour or their son or a relatives neighbour etc etc etc… the girl starts feeling as if the whole world is aware of her groom search!

The parents in the meanwhile ponder if they should be asking for the photos/profiles and horoscopes or just the photos and profiles, Should the girl and boy meet first or should they try and find more information about the concerned family first and then meet…and other such alien matters.

The girl is bombarded with profiles, photos and questions like ‘Could you adjust with a guy who smokes occasionally’ even after the girl has clarified that she wants a life partner who is free from all vices. After the initial screening some profiles are brought to the girl saying, these are the guys we approve of, you can take a look and decide if you want to meet any of them…

“Well this is moving quite fast for me… Meeting a guy with a perspective of marring and then what do I speak to him? Do you expect me to be paraded in front of his family, I can’t be inspected as if I am being displayed in a museum… all this and more is heard exploding from the daughter’s mouth and parents not quite getting it.

They find it rather queer and argue with her that she was the one who had ‘OK’ the groom hunting process and meeting the guy and family are a part of the process! The matter that they overlook is the ‘fear’ associated with this whole scenario. The fear of rejection, the fear of being analysed based on some parameters by a complete stranger… They somehow try to quell the hyper daughter trying to tell her how easy it is to meet and reject/accept a guy, which she desperately wants to believe….

Kadhi

Ingredients
Buttermilk 2 cup
Ginger – small piece
Green chilli - 1
Sugar – 2 spoons
Salt to taste
Besan
Ghee
Jeera
Hing
Haldi

Method

Take buttermilk and add ginger and green chilli paste, sugar and salt. Heat it while stirring occasionally. In a bowl mix 1 teaspoon of besan with water to make a thin paste. Add the paste to the buttermilk while continuously stirring it. Add water if needed and bring it to boil.
For tadka- In a small pan add ghee, jeera, hing and turmeric powder. Add the tadka to the kadhi and serve hot.

My Valentine’s day :)

Well…It was just like any other day… Scrambled to office in time and worked the whole day… Returned home at the usual time – exhausted

Freshening up, I start thinking about what to cook for the evening… I know the mundane things that can easily distinguish you from being single, just keep coming to your mind one after the other!! :)

Open the dresser and voila… A cute little paper bag containing one of my Fav chocolates appear!… So, N actually thought of something… This was a real surprise!

Nothing too fancy or out of the world, but just enough to make me realize that I am special for him..
And then Life was as usual, where I cribbed about being exhausted and my dear N obliged by ordering a pizza and bread sticks :D

Valentines day- A day of love or A political tool

A day to celebrate love—that’s what valentine’s day is called… Many people are against celebrating one day as a day of love and many others protested it to be a day hurting Indian/Maharashtrian sentiments! Many complained about this day being used as an excuse for PDA (Public display of affection).But all in all while the people were protesting, the public in love decided to celebrate this day in hiding.

I agree with the fact that it is being given undue importance and the day is a ‘celebration day’ for businesses more than for public considering that the cash registers continued to ring all through the day and way into the night….while people displayed their affection in many ways possible!

What I don’t agree is the fact that somebody is trying to dictate their terms on us -saying that what you are doing is against Indian culture! Who gave them the authority to dictate Indian culture or even propagate it. You can request people to join your crusade but cant go on a rampage destroying public property and hurting people who don’t follow your dictum.

Is displaying your affection hurting the Indian Culture, or is it being hurt by images showcasing people destroying public property and blackening faces of innocents? People who want to, will continue celebrating this day in hiding or at places other than public areas or better still will just celebrate in on some other day…

It is high time Indian politics grew out of such gimmicks. We are talking about globalization and living in an information overload age, things/information that are not of priority will just go down the ranks and be lost, so why create a ruckus when nobody is interested in listening?

If major issues that are still hounding India like illiteracy, population explosion, inequality, gender differentiation were taken up so seriously and fought against with equal vengeance we would have made remarkable progress as a nation…

Marathi manoos v/s North Indian

In the wake of recent events, unfolding in Mumbai that centered around the so- called Marathi manoos sentiments, I was left with an uneasy and unsettling feeling…

The Pune I know is called the Oxford of the East. Students not only from all over India but from many parts of the world come to Pune to pursue higher studies. Pune is known to be a city of intellectuals and rational thinkers, then how can there be sporadic violence’s in Pune and that too to protest the presence of people from other states?

After the political parties decided to play their cards based on ‘Marathi Manoos’ sentiments protesting that North Indians are taking over their jobs or crushing the Marathi culture, I was shocked to see the violent incidents in Mumbai, Pune and many interiors in Maharashtra. Wasn’t it our fundamental right to be able to move in any part of the country or settle down in any place without any fear? Aren’t we Indian’s first? How is it that we have never protested about huge number of illegal migrants from Bangladesh and other neighbouring countries settling in India but can’t tolerate Indian’s moving to neighbouring states? Isn’t India supposed to depict Unity in Diversity?

Why were the poor people who earn their living by selling snacks at the chowpaty or people at the low ends of the economy structure targeted to show the Marathi unrest? I am a proud Maharastrian, but I can’t see the rational of such vandalism acts. What are these political parties opposing?

Is it the mere presence of people from different states?
Is it the cultural difference?
Is it the irregularities or other forms of unlawful acts?

If it is the mere presence of people from different states- Then many Maharashtrians have settled in other parts of the country and abroad. Should they also face similar consequences and return to the city? They could be spread for various reasons- jobs, education or better opportunities. If they are asked to return back bcoz MNS has taken this stand, is MNS going to compensate them?

If it is the cultural difference – Then Maharastrian’s staying in other states also follow their culture, doesn’t that mount up to cultural difference?

If it is the irregularities or other forms of unlawful acts – then isn’t the government mechanism to be blamed more than the immigrants? If we are strict with corruption, unlawful acts and any other form of violation can’t it be curbed.
Who are they trying to fool by saying this crap. Marathi’s don’t need this and Maharashtra certainly does not deserve to be labeled as despotic or irrational.

People and dates

It was my parent’s anniversary the other day; till a year back it was one of the most looked forward to dates however this year the matrixes had changed… Frankly speaking I hardly remembered it, when I spoke to my mom she was talking about the years gone by and I felt really guilty.

I had promised them a vacation tour on the occasion of their 25th anniversary, but now there was hardly any meaning left to it. After the phone call, I was thinking, was it correct that I should feel guilty? Is there a reason? The dates were memorable coz of the people, as it meant the world to people I loved.

If the meanings of those dates have changed for the very people or they are meaningless as the very people are not around, is there a point clinging to them.
The people or their very existence in my life would never change; they were and are my pillars of strengths.
For me these dates don’t matter, as I have realized that Life is very unpredictable. You never know if you would get another chance to tell them how much they matter to you.