Is politics entering the blogging arena?

We had just about managed to get over the celebrity blog fanfare, when the media zeroed in on another blog… and this time it was Lalu Yadav. The blog too, on its part started on a fiery note. Commenting on the Gujjar agitation, where he squarely blamed Vasundhara Raje for the loss that railways suffered. The papers and all other news channel carried the story as if it was the biggest event in the world.

After the matter subsided, I was curious to see how Lalu’s blog was faring and hence I hit the road on mission ‘Lalu blog hunting’ –going obviously the google way! To start off with, it was a little difficult to hunt the blog. Next, when I hit the hyperlink to my dismay I was greeted with a ‘down for updation’ page. This had nothing to do with Lalu I believe. I think he should have picked a better platform for blogging or if getting Lalu to create a blog was a marketing gimmick on the part of www.popcorn.com, they should have atleast had some state of art technology that need not be updated in such a crude manner.

However I stumbled upon an article in the economic times with insights on the state of Lalus blog and I must say it was hilarious! People had actually turned his blog into a railway complaint box. Well, what can I say? Had he stuck to the topic he knows best, handling railways, probably his blog would have served a better purpose and would have been much more meaningful than ending up as a sloppy political tool used to strike back at opponents.

This made me realize the effects if all our politicians go the blogging way -


The politicians would publish individual videos or vlogs, that address the nation

The morning ‘Parliament session’ would be off air. Instead it would be converted into podcats and distributed across internet.

Their comments section would be filled with blame and retaliation against each other.

The common man on the other hand would be able to post complaints on the blogs.

These piling complaints would then be aired on the news channel that would make a story on how inefficient our politicians are even in this internet age.

The NSO rankings on search engine would be aired on channels the way stock prices are shown. This would determine the popularity of the politicians

In the election season, online polls would be run on individual blogs to gauge the politicians popularity and check what people want in terms of roti, kapada makan so that politicians can continue to podcast their address with those promises.

The public at large would still be at the same point – viewing the blog story on news channel and wondering how does it help them ! :)

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -4

Conclusion

Some girls might agree immediately, some after weighing the pro’s and con’s and if the agreement is mutual then there is another arrange marriage happening.

Some don’t agree, some not sure about what they want while some being absolutely sure of what they want and not ready to compromise on any factor. Then the whole process continues till they finally find a match, that could happen in just first meeting and for some it might mean following the procedure a 1000 times.

Marriage is a personal matter and it is the sole responsibility of the individual – however choosing a life partner is not only about happily ever after. It is about living, sharing, thinking, discussing and also adjusting at the same level. Having rational expectations and understanding the difficulties the other person might face while trying to fulfill those expectations. It is not only about long hours of chats and cuddly messages but also about occasional arguments and understanding. It is also about accepting & sharing responsibilities. It is also about letting the other person be as they are.

Marriage is a confluence of two distinct individuals who will be enriching each other by being together. If this is understood then the whole process can be so simplified.

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -3

First Meeting

Well the matter is settled and the girl agrees to meet the guy. ‘what the hell let’s just get over with it’ is her attitude! Parents are overjoyed, and they call the guy’s family informing this and enquiring the possible meeting time etc.

The way the girl/boy dress and talk also depends on the venue chosen.

If the guy and girl decide to meet on neutral location eg: hotel, café, or similar place the conversation is initially awkward and then if they click light. The dressing is casual.

If the boy/girl decide to meet in traditional setting with the families then other than the time when they are allowed to speak they are spared and the conversation is handled by parents and other elders! The conversation with the family is to the point and while when they are alone awkward, confused then to the point and then if they click light!

For our story lets assume they decide to meet in the traditional setting. The girl is given some elaborate instructions on the way she has to be dressed and she should talk etc. It starts giving the girl a feeling as if this meeting is not about deciding your life partner but a kinder garden child meeting his principal on the admission day.

With some more arguments, they finally settle on things and the family leaves to meet the prospective groom. After the initial pleasantries, there is an awkward silence where they are deciding who should speak, while the girl is completely confused about ‘what to speak!’ The parents of both sides are the most enthusiastic about conversation. After some more chat and ‘chai-naasta’ it is time to leave the guy and girl alone to chat….

Now what… the girl thinks – I cant ask the guy if he would make a good husband… I can’t ask him if he is equally good 24*7 or is he faking it right now… I can’t ask him if he had affairs before and if so did he sleep with them… I can’t ask him if he has undergone HIV test…then what do I ask!!! Probably something similar is running in the boys head…

After the initial silence the boy makes some small conversation and asks about interests and daily routine…Then again some silence, the girl decides to play along and asks questions on similar lines.. then again silence… by the time they are comfortable chatting with each other, its time to leave!! So much for the first meeting… The girl/boy are given only half an hour of the 3 hours that they were together!!

Once they return home the immediate question is ‘How did you find the boy… that follows with … I like the family, the boy also looks so smart and intelligent.’ Before the girl can open her mouth to comment, others start commenting and approving of the observations made by somebody… Who is going to get married to the guy- if agreed? If it is me, then why am I not considered in this whole conversation?

After some more discussion the focus shifts back to the girl and they ask ‘Did you like the guy’ Can you decide in half an hour? Science says you can then why am I so confused ponders the girl. Says she needs time to decide.

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -1

The first phase – Initial hiccups

As this is going to be one long post I have decided to break it into sub heads, the first being ‘The first phase – Initial hiccups’. For the readers benefit I shall be incorporating numeric segmentation also… Check out the first chunk

Arrange Marriage- The word itself put’s forth an image of a traditional Indian setting, boy and girl meeting to decide if they would want to spend their life together!

Not that I was any exception to the fact, however this never burdened me nor was it so complicated, or it could be that I never really understood the complexities which if was the case then was a blessing in disguise. Considering the enormous amounts of contemplation some people get into, I would have gone into bouts of depression :O

Lets start from the beginning… In a typical Indian setting a girl completes her education and is now working hard towards attaining a meaningful career. Initially subtle and then very clearly the family starts dropping hints about her getting married. There are talks about ‘how great the guy of our chachi’s acquaintance is flourishing in his business.’ Or how it is high time your father must be getting you married and retiring from his job’ Never really understood the connection of daughter’s marriage and job yet this continues for some time.

If there is no response from the girl’s end, then there are apprehensions about the daughter having an affair. The ‘mom’ asking quite straight if the girl has an affair, also if he is of some other caste/religion clears this… Needless to say the girl is shell shocked wondering how come her parents have started to come up with such innovative ideas and why can’t she think of something as radically absurd as this for her next presentation!

Once the matter is cleared and the daughter assures them that she has no ‘affairs’ happening but right now she wants to concentrate on her career, her parent’s fears are confronted. Six months go in peace and then the matter is up again. This game of life continues for some time and then during one such conversation parents seem to be getting some positive response…

By this time the daughter is sure of her career heading in the right direction and feels she is ready to move on to the next phase in life.. ‘Marriage’. The family is overjoyed and the parents get some marriage bureau forms the next day (including online portals). In the meantime other family members are summoned to make sure that not one eligible bachelor is left unchecked! The girl is overwhelmed but doesn’t say much…

Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -2

Form Filling Exercise & referrals

The form filling exercise in itself is a major task! It has a column to specify your expectations about your bride/groom to be… what do you write in that-

The physical qualities or the mental abilities? Who decides the compatibility if 5 out of 10 qualities are matching? There are columns where you have to describe the kind of food you like Home made/ dining out- again how many times would you be interested in dining out in a week – 1-3-5-7, the kind of humor you enjoy – is it political/dark/cheesy god knows what else… I never really found out under which category do jokes that make me laugh fall under!
By the time the form filling exercise is complete she realizes-
She has no clue of the kind of husband she wants
Worse still she never understood the kind of person she is!

Well such self realization would certainly scare anybody… isn’t it?

The completed forms are sent out first thing in the morning. By then the relatives have started calling in, informing about some proposal concerning a neighbour or their son or a relatives neighbour etc etc etc… the girl starts feeling as if the whole world is aware of her groom search!

The parents in the meanwhile ponder if they should be asking for the photos/profiles and horoscopes or just the photos and profiles, Should the girl and boy meet first or should they try and find more information about the concerned family first and then meet…and other such alien matters.

The girl is bombarded with profiles, photos and questions like ‘Could you adjust with a guy who smokes occasionally’ even after the girl has clarified that she wants a life partner who is free from all vices. After the initial screening some profiles are brought to the girl saying, these are the guys we approve of, you can take a look and decide if you want to meet any of them…

“Well this is moving quite fast for me… Meeting a guy with a perspective of marring and then what do I speak to him? Do you expect me to be paraded in front of his family, I can’t be inspected as if I am being displayed in a museum… all this and more is heard exploding from the daughter’s mouth and parents not quite getting it.

They find it rather queer and argue with her that she was the one who had ‘OK’ the groom hunting process and meeting the guy and family are a part of the process! The matter that they overlook is the ‘fear’ associated with this whole scenario. The fear of rejection, the fear of being analysed based on some parameters by a complete stranger… They somehow try to quell the hyper daughter trying to tell her how easy it is to meet and reject/accept a guy, which she desperately wants to believe….