Arranged Marriages- There’s hardly anything simple about it! -3

First Meeting

Well the matter is settled and the girl agrees to meet the guy. ‘what the hell let’s just get over with it’ is her attitude! Parents are overjoyed, and they call the guy’s family informing this and enquiring the possible meeting time etc.

The way the girl/boy dress and talk also depends on the venue chosen.

If the guy and girl decide to meet on neutral location eg: hotel, café, or similar place the conversation is initially awkward and then if they click light. The dressing is casual.

If the boy/girl decide to meet in traditional setting with the families then other than the time when they are allowed to speak they are spared and the conversation is handled by parents and other elders! The conversation with the family is to the point and while when they are alone awkward, confused then to the point and then if they click light!

For our story lets assume they decide to meet in the traditional setting. The girl is given some elaborate instructions on the way she has to be dressed and she should talk etc. It starts giving the girl a feeling as if this meeting is not about deciding your life partner but a kinder garden child meeting his principal on the admission day.

With some more arguments, they finally settle on things and the family leaves to meet the prospective groom. After the initial pleasantries, there is an awkward silence where they are deciding who should speak, while the girl is completely confused about ‘what to speak!’ The parents of both sides are the most enthusiastic about conversation. After some more chat and ‘chai-naasta’ it is time to leave the guy and girl alone to chat….

Now what… the girl thinks – I cant ask the guy if he would make a good husband… I can’t ask him if he is equally good 24*7 or is he faking it right now… I can’t ask him if he had affairs before and if so did he sleep with them… I can’t ask him if he has undergone HIV test…then what do I ask!!! Probably something similar is running in the boys head…

After the initial silence the boy makes some small conversation and asks about interests and daily routine…Then again some silence, the girl decides to play along and asks questions on similar lines.. then again silence… by the time they are comfortable chatting with each other, its time to leave!! So much for the first meeting… The girl/boy are given only half an hour of the 3 hours that they were together!!

Once they return home the immediate question is ‘How did you find the boy… that follows with … I like the family, the boy also looks so smart and intelligent.’ Before the girl can open her mouth to comment, others start commenting and approving of the observations made by somebody… Who is going to get married to the guy- if agreed? If it is me, then why am I not considered in this whole conversation?

After some more discussion the focus shifts back to the girl and they ask ‘Did you like the guy’ Can you decide in half an hour? Science says you can then why am I so confused ponders the girl. Says she needs time to decide.