After a long time... and yes relations still are complicated!

I know, this title does'nt make sense! Well can't think of any right now, to be frank, this is the first time that I have written a title first and then the post, so if there seems a disconnect between the title and the post, you know from where that's coming.
Enough of the disclaimers... I have been away from the blog for so long, I was scared I might end up forgetting how to find it! Well, with a kid around, things are not easy, and whenever you do find some tiny bit of free time, you tend to sleep...this is the story of most new parents nowadays... sleep deprived parent... I must add ... It just makes me wonder how my mom took care of us when we were babies or toddlers for that matter... whew!
That brings me to another topic, Why are we so judgemental about everything, more so if there is a girl/woman involved. First of all, till things are not outright heroic, we tend to assume, that's simple .... everyone does it. I mean I never fully understood the complexities of being a mom and raising a kid, till I had one. I regret many of my outbursts targeted at my mom now... I mean most of the mom's are our punching bags... stressbusters. Dad's furious, boss is irritating, work pressure... study tension... you could take it all out on mom... But did we ever stop and think, how does she release her stress... and yes when she does try by getting irritating or edgy... we blame it on the age gap and tend to say ' Oh mom's are so nagging!'
If a wedding is called off, people so easily and quickly judge that it must be the girl's fault. I mean if the girl calls it off , then it is ; 'she must adjust' If the boy calls it off, then there must be some problem with the girl.
It could have been a mutual decision... or even if it was not, who are we to expect them to follow our belief's and thoughts. Are'nt they told enough to know what's good for them! Why this sudden outburst of soceital commitment and lessons in rightous behaviour?
The society was formed so that humans could live safely and lead a life free of chaos. Sadly, today society itself is one of the dangers. Be it honour killings, dowry deaths or plain mental torture of the 'log kya kahenge' phenomenon. If only we could ponder more before we talk and behave, things could be so different.

Me back on the blogosphere…

This has been a long sabbatical. First it was the fact that there was nothing interesting, exciting happening in life that I could blog about. I know I can’t complain about this as my life is no sci-fi where things would suddenly change beyond imagination, yet come’ on I expected some flutter!

Then there was so much happening at such a fast pace that I hardly had time to catch up with life… forget about blogging it!

Well that’s me… when things happen they happen at lightening speed otherwise it seems like ages before I turn a new leaf! Not that today I have turned a new leaf or something, I guess finally I had all the ingredients right. (read time). So this is just a gibberish post about me being back. I am so happy about this fact alone that I can’t think of adding anything of value here. Hopefully now I will be more regular and logical in my postings...

Food for thought...... some random lines

Was reading ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ by Al gore. There is an image in the book. On a black full spread sheet there is a tiny dot in the middle. The description reads “Earth as captured from space”

It made me think - Earth is such a tiny thing in this vast universe and we are a miniscule part of it, yet we have created and manifested so many problems for ourselves even in that tiny space! We have even been successful in wrecking the lives of many innocent animals and plants, who don’t even have a say or an option to retaliate against what we have been doing to this Earth.

Apart from this mess that we are already in, we fight between ourselves over borders, religion, caste, colour etc. Even on an individual front there is a daily battle – battle for survival. We are marred by competition, ego, self-pity, jealousy, greed, hatred etc. All this only to try and create supremacy in this minute space?

Now I am not on a spiritual or self-discovery trip. Nor am I making any attempt to say that I am devoid of all this! Yet some recent experiences just reinstated the feeling of life being unpredictable, unexpected and sometimes cruel. Hence I couldn’t help but laugh when I realized that we spend the whole life conquering something and at the end of if, when you see the big picture you realize it just doesn’t make a difference. Then why harness so much of ill-faith and hatred when at the next moment you could be gone without a trace!

By trying to make our and others life simple and spreading peace and compassion we would have atleast left behind some happy and cherished memories… This need not be at the world level, as an individual this can be practiced at least within family inturn creating a ripple effect!

Back after my short break!

After my short but hectic break I am back. This time it was more to do with family commitment than office. Now that I have resumed work and run around doing my chores I wonder am I too being mechanical or robotic?

There are so many things that I want to do, there are so many causes that I want to fight for… but where’s the time? Or is it just a convenient alibi? Thanks to blogging I try to accomplish a few of my ideas though partially or in a very small way. But there are so many things I wish I could do

In my student life I participated in social activities or causes and always felt once I start earning I would be able to further these causes in a bigger way, but the sad part is now apart from giving donations I hardly do anything much!

Same goes with my traveling! Either I am too busy or on a leave crunch! My father-in-law started going round the world since he was 30 and today after 3 decades he still has to cover almost half the world! When and how would I do that?

I would love to spend more time with my family. Share the joys and sorrow. But I can hardly make it to meet them once in a while!

Is it the modern life, career aspirations, MONEY that is pulling me away from fulfilling my desires or is it something else… something like I am too lazy to get going and do all this :P

I really envy an ex-colleague of mine who had the guts to actually get up one fine morning and call it all quits. She then went ahead on a long travel plan and followed her heart! How many of us in this modern world can actually muster the courage to do this?

Is politics entering the blogging arena?

We had just about managed to get over the celebrity blog fanfare, when the media zeroed in on another blog… and this time it was Lalu Yadav. The blog too, on its part started on a fiery note. Commenting on the Gujjar agitation, where he squarely blamed Vasundhara Raje for the loss that railways suffered. The papers and all other news channel carried the story as if it was the biggest event in the world.

After the matter subsided, I was curious to see how Lalu’s blog was faring and hence I hit the road on mission ‘Lalu blog hunting’ –going obviously the google way! To start off with, it was a little difficult to hunt the blog. Next, when I hit the hyperlink to my dismay I was greeted with a ‘down for updation’ page. This had nothing to do with Lalu I believe. I think he should have picked a better platform for blogging or if getting Lalu to create a blog was a marketing gimmick on the part of www.popcorn.com, they should have atleast had some state of art technology that need not be updated in such a crude manner.

However I stumbled upon an article in the economic times with insights on the state of Lalus blog and I must say it was hilarious! People had actually turned his blog into a railway complaint box. Well, what can I say? Had he stuck to the topic he knows best, handling railways, probably his blog would have served a better purpose and would have been much more meaningful than ending up as a sloppy political tool used to strike back at opponents.

This made me realize the effects if all our politicians go the blogging way -


The politicians would publish individual videos or vlogs, that address the nation

The morning ‘Parliament session’ would be off air. Instead it would be converted into podcats and distributed across internet.

Their comments section would be filled with blame and retaliation against each other.

The common man on the other hand would be able to post complaints on the blogs.

These piling complaints would then be aired on the news channel that would make a story on how inefficient our politicians are even in this internet age.

The NSO rankings on search engine would be aired on channels the way stock prices are shown. This would determine the popularity of the politicians

In the election season, online polls would be run on individual blogs to gauge the politicians popularity and check what people want in terms of roti, kapada makan so that politicians can continue to podcast their address with those promises.

The public at large would still be at the same point – viewing the blog story on news channel and wondering how does it help them ! :)

The morning philosophy…

The moment I stepped out of the house, I was struck by the wonderful weather! Rushing off to office in my usual way I had no time to ponder about the lovely weather and as I drove and became a part of the maddening Bangalore prime time traffic I cursed myself for not stopping and enjoying the little joys bestowed by life!

Well if you are living in a city and have a boring routine of office- home-office, you would immediately second my thoughts about enjoying lovely weather! Coming back to the point, as I was busy cursing myself and veering myself away from taking off on a long drive, I was engulfed by swarming herds of people who were driving to office.

It stuck me as very strange - all dressed in almost similar attire, including me. I was reminded of Star wars- war of the clones or something similar. I am actually not a big fan of Star wars. We were all geared up in jackets with laptop bags or sacks, helmets and some of us even carried lunch boxes. Most of them were couples who went to office together.

All were busy thinking just one thing- ‘How can I overtake the guy before me?’ All were struggling to ensure that not even an inch of road remains empty. Many were even multi-tasking, talking on the mobile, while riding the two- wheeler and overtaking the one before- all at the same time. All of them were in a hurry and wanted to be the first to get out of this traffic bottleneck!

I found it ridiculous that people enjoyed doing this senseless thing day in and day out but didn’t have a moment to enjoy the lovely weather, be pleasant and have a peaceful ride to office. Everybody looked as if they were being driven by an invisible remote control that seemed to be efficiently managing their time.

All said and done, I can’t deny the fact that after brief rumination on this matter, I had no better alternative but to join the party! Be a part of this maddening traffic and fight to be the first one as I inch forward through the traffic maze!

It saddened me that I was being a part of this robotic world where pennies seem to shine brighter than the stars and stress seems to be synonymous with a happy life! Just awaiting my long break that would carry me away from all this- to a bliss that allowed me to experience the little things that create nature! Nature- a theater where magic is created every moment!

Blogs that stormed the channels!

After the small hurricane that rocked the news channels for more than a week, now finally the channels seem to have found something else to mull about. The hurricane was Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bacchan’s blog!

First there was a hue and cry that celebrities write blogs and then the media cried foul that they are targeting a particular professional colleague, in this instance Sharukh Khan! Now I agree that transmitting news 24*7 gets a little boring but that doesn’t mean you keep track of somebody’s blog and cry foul at the smallest instance!

After the big story broke and was making rounds for some time, I decided to check the blogs myself! As it is thanks to Google and media glare the blog was anything but difficult to find! For that particular story that concerned Sharukh I had to rummage through Amithabh’s blog a little but then, when I went through it, it was a huge disappointment! No masala, yet so much hungama! Well, I don’t know how else to describe it!

I mean first of all Amitabh is known for his over chivalry. For gods sake he didn’t even snarl when his name was dragged in Bofors (I am not exactly sure which scam, but I think this is right, if not please excuse!) Yet I expected him to be offensive was an over expectation on my part.

Amitabh on his part just puts down his experiences, his thoughts and his views in HIS blog. Why should the media at large care if while making a statement about a particular matter he happens to refer somebody by name? Lets be honest, if he had mentioned my name instead of Sharukh had that been a news? No! then why care now? Why can’t Sharukh be treated as a normal human being? Just because both of them are famous their names in each other’s blog mean rivalry, jealousy and much more?

Aamir’s blog was a pleasant surprise, as far as I am concerned. I liked the writing and the casual approach. I even found the post very funny and liked his uncanny way of presentation, yet the news channel didn’t seem to find it in the same light!

I have seen people calling their pets by all sorts of names, and I really pity him if his watchman kept the dogs name Sharukh and unwisely became instrumental in triggering this hurricane! On the other hand if this was meant to downsize Sharukh, then by giving it such unnecessary publicity the media made a complete monkey of themselves and in the process created some embarrassing situations for Sharukh. Poor guy was asked to comment on this!

With the IPL happening, I am sure he wouldn’t have time to shave, when do you expect him to peep into someone else’s blog? And why did I bother to write about it after so long! I saw a news article asking people/celebrities opinions on this matter today! Rwanda genocide too must have not enjoyed such widespread discussions ever!

My blog gets a fresh look

Finally was able to change the template of my blog! Had been thinking about it for a week, messed up the process yesterday and finally today …. It was a grand success!

I had wanted to move away from the usual stuff for some time now but as usual had no inkling on going about it! Then while surfing I stumbled upon this site that gave off free design templates. My joy knew no bounds :P As it is for me to design my own template would take another life if not more…so I will have to manage with such external support till maybe they come up with an idea where they do the coding part and I just place the components… somewhat like a blog. Otherwise where else would I have been voicing my opinions!

For now I am happy with the new look and grateful to sites like Finalsense whose foresight has come in handy for the zestful like me (now u realize how happy I am with the change, I actually wrote a whole post!)

I hope the internet bigwigs take my idea seriously and discover a way for people to personalize their templates. That would give a new arena for people like me to explore! Till then…. I am happy with the girl in the wind!

Woh bachpan ki yaadein! :(

Hmm... This is an after-effect of speaking about our childhood memories yesterday night! My cuz dropped by and as usual we sat up till late in the night chatting.

I don’t know how but we started talking about the good old school days and then there was no stopping it. We reminisced about the school days, the fun we had in summer vacations, the pranks that we played and the games that we enjoyed! Oh! Life was so simple and fun to live!

When we were kids, we couldn’t wait to grow up. We were bugged about the homework, the loads of studies and EXAMS! We always assumed that all this would be over once we grow up and then we could lead our lives on our terms! But now I know, it was just a matter of grass being greener on the other side!

Childhood was so much fun! Go to school- come back in the evening – enjoy your evening games- come back finish the homework and you are off to being yourself again. Plus you had so many holidays… and all part and parcel of your school life! Now taking leaves from office always seems like a distant dream!

The star attraction always was the summer vacations. A time for games, fights, trips and vacations with grandparents. My grandparents stayed in a small town, surrounded by lush green trees. Our gang of cousins was also pretty big and hence that added to the fun! I can’t remember any other time in my life when I was so carefree as then! The smallest and the most rustic of tasks gave us thrills. And the late night chats and snacks always left our servant a little more harried.

If there was a function in the family, then our energy knew no bounds! Our motto in life seemed to be having a great time as now when we hear all the funny and stupid things we did we really wonder, was that us! Then was a time when all of us met up atleast once in a year and yet had so much to talk and exchange that we always felt the time was short. Now it has been some time before all of us even had time to sit together and spend some hours together. There is always someone missing!

I guess those joyful days are never to return. We just will have to learn better time management skills and make the most of it.

An organization with a difference!

The other day while watching the CNN-IBN news channel, I came across a feature covering an NGO in Surat, Gujarat. In a second I was about to dismiss the news as ‘just another organization’ and flip to another channel but something made me stay.

The NGO was working with street beggars. They roped in the beggars and made them work on tasks like vegetable farming. The beggars were paid a nominal amount daily for working in the farm and at the end of the cycle; they were to sell their produce in the market.

The profits made after selling such products were shared equally among the group. I liked the novel idea where the NGO just did not ask for donations, nor was there any ‘pity’ or ‘sorrow’ in their effort. They were empowering these people, many of whom had turned to begging after finding no other way to earn a living. The NGO didn’t make the beggars feel helpless or give them a gloomy picture. This was more of an effort to bestow on them their self-esteem and guide them to help themselves.

This concept has supported beggars who were actually interested in making a difference to their life and were not sure how to go about it. This is not something that I said though; it was from a transformed beggar himself!

Just something that criss crossed by mind

Was watching ‘Step Mom’ the other day. It had a scene where the mother is dying and for Christmas she presents her child with a homemade quilt that traces the child’s growing days by way of photos scanned all over the quilt. It had many tiny memoirs sewn in the quilt, right from a piece of the child’s most favourite dress to the image of first step that she took. It was very touching and a beautiful way to deal with death.

It made me think, had I known could I have dealt with the death in my family differently? There were so many things; so many days of my life that I shared with them. They all were so important in my life… All the little secrets that I shared with them, my growing up days that they witnessed, the immense joy that they bestowed on me, the assurance that they gave me every time while I took a new step, the bedrock trust that they showed in me, soothing my qualms – however small or irrational they might be – How could I ever have wrapped that all in something to show them I care?

I guess it was a good thing that I parted with them so suddenly. I could have never been able to see them in pain, struggling through each day and begging for death while death betrayed them. No! I could have never been able to stand that.

Now atleast I have all the good memories with me, stored securely that no one can tarnish. Bless them for making my life so fulfilling

Some paradoxes worth pondering…

Was speaking with a very dear friend of mine. On the exterior, she has a great life – a perfect example of a thriving metro-woman. Beautiful, successful, handsome husband who is equally successful. They are one of the affluent families, with great social network… yet there was something missing. She yearns for a child of her own.

It hurts me to see her trying so desperately to fulfill her desire. She is not asking for too much- for maximum couples in India it’s just the next step after their wedding, yet its not so easy either. Endless treatments and doctors efforts have been futile. The couple is healthy and as per docs there are absolutely no problems for them to conceive, yet there is something not right. Some doctors have also said that it is their hectic lifestyle that is a major hindrance and some say it’s about too much stress and irregular habits.

I am no doctor and have no clue about the reasons, but she is my friend and an extremely good person, so it tears me to see her wish not being fulfilled. Their efforts have been tireless and the agony that she subjects herself too, as a part of treatment is just too much to bear. She doesn’t complain and her husband has also been extremely supportive all the while. She has also done all sorts of fasts etc that were told to her for a child and has also put a halt to her surging career to take a break and release herself from a hectic schedule.

Sometimes I feel like yelling out loud… telling her to stop all this, but then the hope that glistens in her eye every time when she is trying some treatment pulls me back.

Is coming to terms with ‘Adoption’ so difficult even today? I might not be the right person to say this, as I am not someone who is in the thick of this problem, yet it just bothers me that even the new emerging and progressive India that we are being ‘touted’ to be, cant come to terms with words like Adoption, girl child etc.

Children are even today, left at adoption centers doorsteps and the adoption centers are still struggling to find good homes for these children. Wonder when the stigma against adoptions be erased.

Are we too hypocratic or is it the fear that we might not be able to love the child as our own child? For now I just pray for my friend…..

..... and I wonder why!

A note of admiration to the likes of Sarabjit singh’s and Kashmir Singh’s wives. The women come from modest backgrounds and have been facing hardships for years now, yet they are the only ones who seem to be sane when the media goes into frenzy.

They were the women who were the most affected by these arrests while the media, the nation as a whole was blissfully unaware for a long time of their state. When the matter snowballed they were the women who spoke with utmost clarity and a calm outlook while others vociferously spoke, fought and voiced their anger- many a times not even based on factual information.

Something similar was seen in the not so old- Dr. Haneef incident. This makes me wonder are we being blinded by the media glare that we refuse to see the facts. Why is it that matters like what Kashmir singh ate and where did he go after his release make it to the headlines after his release?

Is the media so insensitive in today’s world that they don’t understand the importance of privacy in the life of a man who has not seen the world outside, his friends, family, his home for 35 long years? A life that was his to enjoy, but couldn’t…
How can we barge into the life of a person who himself is meeting life after a long time and claim to be a witness of that event? …. I wonder why and how!

Food for thought!!

And the lyrics go… “Tu dhoop hai.. cham se bikhar… tu hai naadi…oh bekhabar” from the latest hit “Tare Zameen par”.

The song always leaves me elated. A beautiful thought that says “you are special!” How I wish we could practice it in our daily lives.

Sadly, these days its very common of people racing in time to ensure they are at the top of corporate/business/management and god alone knows how many other ladders! When was the last time we stopped and said “you are special” to our near ones? We take our near and dear ones for granted… They are always there or they know it… no reason to say it loud!

But… wouldn’t we like it when someone tells us that we are special to them… or they like me!! Of course I would love it… then why do we end up being a miser with words… Hmm…some thing to think about!

Also, if everyone is special… why do we not help or atleast be on amicable terms with our colleagues/neighbours or any other acquaintance? I agree you can’t be great chums with everybody around you… but is it necessary to look down upon them or not behave rationally and politely with them?

I am not saying I am great at this or I have never flawed… but now I will try and practice as much as possible…. And this post will act as a reminder :)

B’day bash for some… chills and nightmares for others!!

Back to the blogosphere after a lonnnnnngggggggg time… I know that long was a little exaggerated but.. its fair when u have been working hard everyday without an off for the past 15 days!!

Not kidding! Some king decides to celebrate his b’day in pomp… He also feels that he is the latest literature guru on the English language horizon and wants every tiny bit going on his website/brochure/calender etc etc etc… to be checked by him and him alone or his aide if he is too too buzy!

So what do we do? We land up every third day on his doorstep getting the content and other stuff approved. After long hauls of meetings and discussions with him we finally start seeing the daylight at the end of the tunnel, assuming that the work will soon be done, but alas that’s not the case to be!! In our absence he has gone on a dictating spree (as he doesn’t write, its his assistant… he just dictates the matter!) and the next time we meet him he comes up with pages and pages of matter to be uploaded in a four page tiny handout :O How on earth can you do that…. Especially when the function is just 2 days away!!!

Well what happened next is anybody’s guess… Our lives went for a toss… the many things being done for him started to have last minute hiccups and we are having some sleepless nights….. Well, monarchy side effects never seem to change! Sigh…