You can’t be fine till you spend a bomb!

I had the misfortune of visiting a BIG hospital for a trivial thing. The fact is that as we don’t know many small clinics around my place we resort to the one that’s closest.
Well when we went there we just needed an appointment to come in later and meet the doc, however these multistory, multi-specialty hospitals don’t seem to work that way.

The moment we asked if there was an appointment available for today the lady at the enquiry desk promptly asked us to fill in a form! I thought she didn’t hear me and I said I would do all that however I am in a rush right now and it would be great if she could tell me if I could have an appointment. She said “ The doctor's in from 9 to 7.30pm”

Oh what the heck, a form might not take a long time, so I filled it and gave it to her. Cling goes the printer and I am asked to shell out Rs 400! I always thought I pay the doc after he’s checked me! Apparently this is another of those things that these BIG hospitals don’t seem to follow!

She said I could see the doc on the second floor. Well now that I had paid, I thought it wouldn’t do much harm if I visited him immediately. Check-up’s don’t take more than 10-15 min isn’t it! However the moment we reached the said place I realized this was A BIG mistake and before I could overcome the claustrophobic feeling and take to my heels I had been sucked into the whirlpool!

There were swarms of people waiting for a check-up. The waiting people, the harried receptionist and the nurses running in and out gave me an impression of a wedding! The receptionists looked like the frenzied parents of the girl who were not sure if they should be welcoming the guests, taking care of them, looking after their daughter, listening to the pundit or shouting at the caterer!

The patients seemed as clueless as me. I knew I still had time to run away when the receptionist asked me to hand over my file. I hadn’t spent 10 minutes in that hospital and I already had a file! My doctor for many years who has a clinic just down the road in Pune doesn’t seem to have a shred of paper with my name on it and yet knows my complete history which he magically seems to recall whenever I visit him! Well I gave the file and she obediently handed it over to some other person. Then someone came and asked me to enter a room on the right.

Oh fine, lets just get done with this. This isn’t much of an ordeal… Tch Tch… too much too soon...I was about to realize. There was a junior doc there, who fired me with rapid fire questions, with no option to think or ask questions. Hmm...and I always thought docs were there to resolve our queries and calm our fears! Then she asked me to go to the room on the left ‘we need to check your weight’. Obediently I entered and found nobody there, but a sad looking weighing scale as if in its last few days pleading that it can’t handle anymore weight! I assumed we were to weigh ourselves and inform the doctor but the weighing scale didn’t seem to be working.

Just them a nurse rushed in and did something to get it working and fired the next round of instructions! Had I been really sick, by now I would have fainted! But as might hearted as I am, I continued to undergo the ordeal while telling myself and trying to tell the docs that there is nothing so serious to be worrying about!

While we were awaiting in the corridor for the next round of instructions the harried receptionist asked a nurse in the next room ‘Could you jab quicker?’ there are many more to go! Weren’t hospitals supposed to be different than assembly line, especially if the tagline read ‘Inspired by Life’!

Finally I was asked to enter the room in the center where the elusive doctor existed. She saw (not checkup) me, my FILE and gave some vitamin tablet and off I go out! After about 2 hours of running around the doctors were finally convinced that it was nothing but a trivial allergic symptom. Oh well, wasn’t it that what I had been trying to tell from the moment I entered the damn hospital! Apparently it is not acceptable till it comes from the horse’s mouth!