A knotty being called marriage!

Yesterday I was a part of a conversation that left me a little perplexed on the overall relationship aspect. The topic was marriage and commitment and I was zapped when a guy said ' Suddenly I had this woman sleeping next to me and around me 24 hrs'. He then went on to say it took a year for him to get used to this fact. What surprised me even more was the fact that his was a love marriage. But this was just the beginning when another person affirmed his fears!

I had a typical arranged marriage and yet me and my husband never had such doubts! This I can say, after I confirmed it with him yesterday night! Of course, what do you expect! After listening to such statements from people who had been going around for years, I was not taking any chances :P We certainly had initial discomfort in settling down in each others life, knowing each other well etc. But that was expected! After all, the period between engagement and wedding cant sooth all your qualms nor can you claim to know a person well till you start living with that person.

But I thought love marriage was a different ball game. Here the adjustments that were difficult were for parents rather than the couple. I mean you go around with a person, are sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with them and hence plan to take a plunge - then how can you be flustered by that persons presence in your life?

I understand 'committing to friends' is difficult for many. The transition from one kind of relationship to the other just doesnt happen. It is uncomfortable to be a great friend till yesterday and being a 'girlfriend or boyfriend' the next day. It becomes difficult and irritating when somebody suddenly starts expecting you to call them a zillion times, send cute notes and flowers or cards etc with/without reason while that was never expected from you before.

But being uncomfortable even after wedding was a little scary for me! I somehow got a feeling that probably I was in the wrong league if I didnt find it so difficult or didnt take so long to settle, but after confirming with my husband I started feeling better. As I said earlier, relationships are a real hard nut to crack!

I guess the initial hiccups are a part and parcel of 'marriage' be it arranged or love. You commit to get married and all this just follows, probably the intensity is different.